Articles, Jewish Renewal, Misc.

How to create a meaningful ceremony?

(This article was translated from Hebrew by the Esence of Life organization, and was published in their webpage)
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Meaningful Ceremony
How can we make ceremonies meaningful ? asks Rabbi Ezrahi.
Rabbi Ohad Ezrahi

Importance Of Ceremonies

Something that was so common in the ancient world but is often forgotten in modern times is the knowledge of how to create meaningful ceremonies

I’m not talking about state pomp and ceremony that often includes soldiers and trumpets, but life ceremonies – rituals that individuals experience on a personal level, sometimes in the presence of family and community, sometimes just with a friend, a priest or priestess, or someone that accompanies us on our path. These rituals have deep and transformative significance.

In Judaism, as with any spiritual culture, ceremonies represent milestones in a person’s life. First there is the Brit – circumcision of baby boys – and Brita for girls, and then at age 13 a boy’s Barmitzvah and a girl’s Batmitzvah when she is 12. Later comes a wedding and funeral.

Different daily ceremonies symbolize the milestones of time. For practising Jews there are morning, noon and evening prayers, the welcoming of Shabbat and the distinction between Saturday (Shabbat) and the rest of the week.

There are also the Jewish holiday rituals that distinguish holy days from the rest of the year. For example, the sharing and delivering of sweets at Purim, purifying the home before Passover and lighting candles during Hanukah. All these and more are rituals that originally had deep meaning in order to sanctify our lives. And, if done correctly can effect transformation in a person’s life.

Transformation Through Ceremony

A ceremony can be a defining moment, a kind of gateway. From the moment a person passes through the gateway of a ritual be it daily or a holy day, they are entering a different space.

A few years ago I had a heartfelt conversation with a Rabbi. He told me about a talk he had with a religious woman. In the conversation he said to her that he and every other religious person actually has the same thoughts and religious desires. Amazed, she asked him “You pray for hours, and go to the temple three times a day, and keep the Sabbath, and all this hasn’t made you any different from me?”
The woman’s words touched the Rabbi’s heart and forced him to search deep within himself – he found himself asking “Do his daily rituals have any real meaning?”

Authentic religious ceremonies can transform a person. When I go through a real ritual, I know something within me has changed, and in a sense I am not the same person I was before.

If nothing has happened, if the ceremony has failed to help me transform, I acknowledge that it didn’t work.

The famous American mythologist Joseph Campbell said, “Religion is really a kind of second womb. It’s designed to bring this complicated thing, which is the human being, into maturity.”

Kabalah ‘Second Pregnancy’

In Kabalah there is a term called the ‘second pregnancy’ whose goal is different from the first one. The first pregnancy is physical, its’ objective is to give birth to the body and soul.

The second pregnancy is meant to give birth to the mind. This means that the person goes into another kind of fetal state, a kind of pregnancy within the religious womb, and when he is born, he is more spiritually mature, with more mental depth and a wider perspective.

Real Sacredness

A good ceremony or ritual works like medicine. Good medicine is effective, and if it is not – than hopefully it won’t do harm.

Empty rituals leave a residue of loneliness. It doesn’t matter how many guests arrive at a ceremony, or how many gifts we receive. The heart wants to touch and be touched.

Real sacredness is a thing that touches you deeply, and invites you to touch and be touched. Sacredness is about getting closer to divinity, to the unity of all things. That is why when we come close to divinity we feel united with ever-widening circles of people.

In the beginning we feel one with those close to us, then with people who are different from us, and finally even with those who see themselves as our enemies.

The more that divine unity is evident in the heart of man, the more he feels at one – not only with people, but also with nature.

When we touch holiness it affects us deeply, and reveals to us that we are not separate beings, but part of a great fabric of wonderful and divine mystery.

Until we feel this in our hearts, we may feel alienated from the world, but the more we feel divinity the more we feel connected and intimate with everything because sacredness is intimacy.

Good ceremony reminds us of what the heart knows deep inside. This is something every child knows and adults sometimes forget - the wonderful and mysterious unity of existence.

A good ceremony encourages the heart to remove defensive barriers and allow love to enter, to be touched by the mystery that carries us to a new place, that is, to the holy landscape beyond the gate of ceremony.